I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot!

Dear Donald,

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I’m not sure if you got to enjoy any recreation this weekend, but I know that your friend Mike Pence went out to the theater – kudos to him for scoring some coveted “Hamilton” tickets! I seriously have no idea how he did that – I’ve been trying for months. If you ever have a line on a pair or two of those, Donald, don’t forget your old friend Jules over here – just sayin’…

But I digress. Over the weekend, you expressed concern about how Pence’s theater trip played out. It seems that he was booed by some audience members as he took his seat, which was inexcusably rude, but certainly not the fault of the cast or crew. Yet you demanded an apology – twice! Since you can’t possibly hold them accountable for the booing, I can only assume that you are referring to the statement from the cast of the show, read onstage by Brandon Victor Dixon, who plays Aaron Burr. Here are his exact words, which you termed “harassment.”

“We, sir, are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights. We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us.”

Harassment??!! Donald, this is not harassment. This may, in fact, be the opposite of harassment. This is an articulate and respectful statement of concern, and a plea for consideration of the speaker’s opinion. This is the very essence of how people begin conversations: they state a perspective, and invite the listener to respond. Why then, Donald, do you demand an apology?

Is it because of the venue in which the conversation was begun? I’ll concede that part was a bit awkward – Pence was called out from the stage as he was trying to leave the theater, and it would have been logistically and acoustically impossible for him to actually engage with the speaker. So maybe it was a bit unfair – challenging Pence when he had no chance of responding. I can see it making you feel a bit protective of your friend, and pissed off that he was put in that position.

However, Donald, this brings me to my advice for the day. I call it “positive attribution.” I have no idea who taught me this, or where I got that term – but there’s a high probability that I didn’t make it up. Anyway, the basic idea is this: when somebody does something you don’t like, it’s natural to make assumptions about why they did it. Those assumptions usually reflect badly on the character of the person in question. Somebody butts in front of you in line, you naturally assume “that guy’s a jerk.” Positive attribution requires you to suspend those judgments, and ask yourself, “why would a reasonable and well-intentioned person do this thing?” You force yourself to ATTRIBUTE assumptions about the person that are POSITIVE – hence the name – and use that process to try and understand their actions. Let’s try it now. Let’s assume that Dixon is a reasonable and well-intentioned guy – why did he say what he said to Pence?

To me, it seems likely that he was seizing a rare opportunity to express his genuine fears about the direction in which our country is headed. Dixon may be a celebrity, but when it comes to the political arena, he doesn’t have much more voice than any other citizen. So imagine his joy at having a precious chance to speak directly to someone at the top, and to share his hopes and fears for our country! Man to man, at a time when he might really be able to make an impression – at a time when Pence was (hopefully) reflecting on the values and beliefs that underlie our national identity. I think we can both understand why Dixon wasn’t going to throw his away his shot!

And let me be clear, Donald: those fears he expressed are GENUINE. Like, MAD genuine. We’ve already discussed how you are personally not a racist, because how could you possibly aspire to lead a nation founded on equality if you were? But you have supporters running around screaming “TRUMP!” at people of color, and spraypainting swastikas on stuff. You’ve appointed an Attorney General who was deemed too racist to serve as a federal judge under Reagan. You’ve proposed setting up a registry for Muslims – remember what happened last time members of a religious minority were forced into a national registry? I mean really, Donald - your top advisor is a self-proclaimed Darth Vader wannabe! Remember now – we’re doing “positive attribution” – so I need you to try to think about it from Dixon’s perspective. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: does it really shock you that a diverse group like the cast of Hamilton has questions about what their own fate will be in your America? Does it shock you that they would want those questions to be heard?

This “positive attribution” business isn’t just some touchy-feely team-building exercise, Donald – I swear I wouldn’t do that to you. I truly believe that it is exactly what America needs right now. We don’t need to be yelling epithets at each other – we need to be listening to each other. We need to take every opportunity to understand the perspectives of other people and groups, and to have conversations that will put us together on common ground. And you, Donald, need to set a good example and show us the way forward. America is being ripped apart, and we may never have another opportunity to unite it. We can’t throw away our shot!

Yours truly,

Jules